Zombie Outbreak Plan

Ok, Here's the situation

There's a zombie outbreak, Only us the active forum members are not infected, We all have to assemble at ryan's house (or the school if ryans house mysteriously burns down), Because obviously its the safest, And a chip fryer. We have to hold up there for a month until the army comes in and shoots them all a la 28 days later.


How do you get there?
What supplies do you take (Ryan you have to do something, so what supply's do you find)
How do we fortify our position? (The zombies are 28 days later zombies so they can move pretty fast and theres still a lot of them however we are uninfectable, woot)
What weapons? - Let's say there is a gun store in beconsfield that ryan has the keys to - And theres lotsa guns, kinda like in the boondock saints or any generic american military supply store.
What movies, Games and entertainment do you bring? - (Yes there is power and water)

Ohh yeah the zombies are pretty resiliant but not super strong, A head bashing with a spade'll do it. However a few bullets in the chest won't do enough, You've gotta blow a shotgun blast hole in there to kill em. And in case you were wondering there might well be a zombie boss in a helicopter so we will need RPG's or heat seeking missiles. And furthermore the zombies aren't like the nigras in ZULU they havn't learnt to use guns, However they can fly helicopters into you they're kinda kamikazee zombies.

Answering Questions in order for my purposes.

First find some kind of big truck...Preferably a fire engine from the fire engine deployment place outside staples in high wycome, Travel there in a stolen aston martin from the garage in amersham. Fill the fire engines water tank with napalm for a drive by flamethrower, Just thought of it noaw, Fill up at the tesco petrol station

Supples, Head on over to the amersham tesco, Or costco if we can get in, Pick up a lot of chocolate and sprite, maybe coke, Then head over to the KFC and heat up some family buckets and bring them.

As for fortifications, I figure we do an "I am legend" and plant charges on the lawn, we'll find a way, Lay down a lot of cheese/piano wire so if they run into it they chop their own legs off...BAM! Also block out all doors and windows with wooden boards, and lay down razor wire at the back and front entrances for moar leg choppidge, also throw around some broken glass for the lulz.

12 Gauge pump action FTW, 54 shells. 2 Desert Eagles 6 extra mags, 2 Raging Bulls 400 rounds, M16 with reflex sight, 600 rounds, 8 mags, AK47 with grenadier attachment for grenade launching and 400 AK47 rounds, Also a SAW (the gun not the tool) And 1000 rounds, Its the only machine gun in CSS for those that don't know, 12 Tear gas grenades (The zombies Choke on it but don't die, but do fall over and can be curb stomped) 8 incendiary grenades if worse comes to worse and we have to burn down the house, 16 Frag grenades too. Also a Rambo bowie knife, and axe, A bigger axe, a sledgehammer, a machete and a Zippo.

Movies, Dawn of the dead and the remakes, Just for informational purposes, Every adam sandler movie, not that I like them as films, I just wanna see them again, Death sentance, port washington, any film with arnold, any film with the stallion, the box set's for the simpsons, not for the episodes, for the directors commentary - thats how I role (Also every benheck.com podcast because in episode 12 + 11 they outline the subject, and its an awsome podcast anyway). Games wise - Rock band and guitar hero as that has 4 player Co-op which is probably how many of us there'll be, Army Of Two for the xbox, GTA IV maybe call of duty four. As for Wii games - Super mario strikers charged football as it IS the best multiplayer wii game, even if you hate football like me.

That's about it for now.

And remember, If anyone even thinks of bringing the Pirates of the caribbean trilogy... Me and sindall will chop of your legs, if its you sindall. me and ryan will chop of your legs, If its henry, Well chop of your legs, If its me I'll chop of my own legs... because really. Snakes on a plane PISSES on those films.

Heres the plan,
we get there by go kart taking the mountanous routes through the snow, you know where i mean. but this go kart has a mahusive Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C engine (worlds biggest) on it and much spikes and rams on the front so we can get through them bastard zombies. Gunning tower on back for rambo 4 purposes.

supplies, raid all fast food restaurants for quick enrergy giving foodz(important in zombie fights) then, go to costco and get ll the crates of oreos and every carton/tanker of milk you can get. this should be enough to last us out. Also some greggs for lulz. Also so much boooooze you cant imagine all coming from the cellarz of urs truly (ok i got no celarz but a fucking big alcohol cupboard) so that we have fun while slaying zombies which is what slaying zombies is meant to be.

fortifakations shall be as follows, bear traps spread over every square meter for a mile radius around the house, some good old fashoined boarding up the windows. Also a trench that runs in a big circle around the ryan household and because the zombies are all so stupid they fall in it, eventually the build up of bodies will aloow them to cross, but they would be filed with syringes (good old saw) just to piss of the zombies a bit more. Then 1 cardboard cutout of rambo to scare away passing zombies.

Armamentos, first of all one freddy krueger glove for slicing up thtem zombies and then some good old chainsaw/sawn off shotgun combo for ultimate zombie slaying power. Also a cardboard cutout of margaret thatcher with c4 stuck all over the back of it, the zombies will see it as a possible mate go up to it and BAM you get teh idea, rambo knife is an essential also several Remington 1100 semi automatic shotguns (i dont like any other guns but shotguns for zombie slaying) and not to forget the all important RPGGGGSSSS for helicopter slaying, damn helicopter zombies. also one book of the dead. and some billy conally style pistols with the special holster jacket thing. Also one big fucker of a sword for some srious zombie choppin, guns are cheating sometimes.

then movies, all evil dead rambo transformers lotr and any other film with a gun in it (apart from anything with tom cruise in cos hes a faggot) boondock saints aswel obv. ehh then some scary movies to harden ourselves for the onslaught so stuff liek hide and seek even though thats got nohting to do with zombies but you get my drift.
games ffx, lost odyssey, dynasty warriors games call of duteh 4 and devil amy cry 4 for zombie/demon slying experiences.
also for teh wii super mario galaxy (a must) and We can always play mario vs sonic olympics lololololololo jks
other entertainment would include 1000GB of pronz for the fapping while were there because as far as im aware ryans house is lacking in pronz. who knows maybe cumming on the zombies will kill them...

also triple nigger george

and sorry bout all the cardboard cutouts, just presumed that ryan would have a lot of cardboard

Liek none of the games you chose are multiplayer, Lame on your part sindall. And don't you dare say galaxy is multiplayer because its just not and you know it.

And freddy kruger gloves dont work, You need a jason hockey mask and machete everyone knows He's just better.

And by the book of the dead, You mean necronomicon ex mortis. And these zombies dont work with the book. but its cool to have. Pictured below



And what kinda pisols in the gay billy connoly or (Il Duce, as he's called in the film) holster?



Ohh yeah, and we also need to bring in and n64 to play goldeneye, NOT SSB.

i have no need for multiplayer gamesss
and if youve seen freddy versus jason youll know theyre both as awsome as each other although freedy does own him most the time but jason just keeps going like a beast

book of the dead is always good to have (thanks to bruce)
the pistols were these bitches dunno what they were called tho

and obv for goldeneye.

M1911



M9 or 92 beretta in silver

oh nice, ryan and henrys answers better be as long as ours or i will be disspaointed and will set:



on them

LOL EPIC THREAD IS EPIC (i liek its use of me)

well i may not be able to produce a HUGE answer like you guys, but i'll try

okay...well im kinda stuffed for the "how to get there" partly seeing as i LIVE at my house, however if its mysteriously burnt down (chances are I did it) and we have to go to the school, and seeign how i dont care if i die, i would probably jsut walk to save the enviroment...wtf

(k well from now on im gonna presume i DIDNT burn down my house) for supplies i would just keep the crappy stuff in my house to eat, and quite frankly not care if i starve coz im way too lazy to go to tescos and buy stuff at their ridiculously high prices

fortifications....well...i would make a really hot female zombie robot and out it outside and lure all the zombies to that for a while, should hold them off for a good 5 minutes (okay il admit it...i jsut wanna see zombies havign sex) and place a video camera to the side of the robot. i would also place my collection of worlds worst ever games (such as sea world tycoon, age of empires 3, and C&C 3) that should scare them off for a lot longer(and if one of them decides to play one....KABOOM!!!!....the zombie blows up from depression/fustration) and of course usign my G-Mod skillz i would use the wire mod to make automatic turrets outside.

wepaons...ha...well i think everyone knows wat I shall bring....
A GALCTIK SUPA CANN0N!!!!
excpet if i fire it half the world wil implode and aliens from another dimension will coem through a tear in the space time continuum and envelop our whole universe....so maybe nto the best choice. i would probably for melee go HL2 style and get a good ol' crobar...w000t. as for an actually gun.....well i would probably bring the admin Ak (FUCK YEEEEAAAAHHH) and jsut to be a n000b, an AWP as well. also i would make sure the rest of u only have glocks/mac10s so that when u die il change ur will and get ur pcs and 360's and shit....w000t

movies, i would bring 28 days later, merely to be ironic. Also i would bring Finding Nemo, Rataoileieleileiee, and the classic Tigger the Movie. Games, well....i would bring mariokart double dash, Crashbash, and the obvious Overlord. also, i would have my music collections...otherwise i would hang myself

so yeah....and guy? i DO have a lot of cardboard, dont worry.

The idea of me bringing Pirates of the shite maketh me shudder.

K to start I would rape Ryan to get the hormones flowing. To be honest it probably wouldn't be rape, Ryan's into that shit. Go to the DT place in the shool and get some tools which can cause variable amounts of damage (drills, saws, knives) as sidearms. Also get some spirits from Tesco (be needing those later). Go up Castle Street and make a daring raid into Chris Debonnaire's house and steal his air guns. Follow the train tracks to Chorley Wood, shooting any zombies in the eyes with the air guns (bullets blind them and go into brain, killing them?). Steal some car doors from parked cars (needed later). Upon finding the house, get in and put all heavy objects )TV, computers etc) near windows. WAIT FOR ZOMBIES. Prepare weaponry, loading air guns, collecting rocks from Ryan's FOREST (yes it is, not a wood), putting rags in spirits for molotovs, putting car doors near windows. Then, using collective brain waves to transform Time Splitters into Time Crisis 3, and then taking the powers from Time Crisis 3 (stupid idea) we will all be able to conjure miniguns from NOWHERE. Watch Truman Show if anyone has it. Try to get the hang of driving Ryan's Porsche if he still has it. Yes it's an awesome film, stop denying and the Mask, 'sorry, wrong pocket'. When zombies approach house, throw rocks out of windows, drop car doors and tvs and computers. Conjure miniguns and mow the motherfuckers dowwwwwn. Send one expendable member of the group (Ryan, sorry) to drive the Porsche at some insane speed out of the garage, running over zombies, to get the armoury at Beaconsfield. GET GRENADES, DEAGLES AND M4s. He drives up to house, as he gets out of car and runs to door throw grenade back and detonate the car. Shrapnel nails everyone. Keep throwing nades out of windows and firing those damn M4s. Should zombies break down door throws those molotovs and burn the entranceway. When this starts to burn down the house, retreat to Ryan's FOREST, Ryan's many levelled garden puts us at an advantage, as they come over ridge they get mown down. If a helicopter flies over, whoever has the best CSS skills e.g. me (jokes) transfers their skills into real life to shoot that fucking driver so it should crash and hit some zombies.


We ryn out of ammo? Zombies get too close to fight? Blow your own face off with a deagle. Let's face it, we're all losers. No one'll miss us.

okay u have a few problems with ur theory

A.Chorleywood is one word
B.Chris Debonnaire sucks
C.why do u think we should be using as barracades/throwing the TV's and computers? WE NEED THEM TO LIVE MOAR THEN OUR BRAINS
D.grenades do about as much damage as a roman candle.

other than that kudos
and now that everyone's replied....WE NEED MOAR THREADS LIKE THIS!!!

Fuck yes we need moar, This thread was the best thing I've ever started ever.

And no henry, Air gun pellets won't penetrate eye balls, They just sting.

yh...he zombies could be wearing glasses...wat you gonna do then huh?


HUH?!

rockcawk wrote:

Fuck yes we need moar, This thread was the best thing I've ever started ever.

And no henry, Air gun pellets won't penetrate eye balls, They just sting.

Well blow me down. Or up, I don't mind as long as yer blow me.

im goign for the up option

Ha oh yeah, forgot about that option of the adverbial particle.


Also yeah, I have to admit this thread is genius.

Higgins wrote:

Ha oh yeah, forgot about that option of the adverbial particle

try using words i understand

Adverbial Particle = putting 'up', 'down', 'out' 'over' etc after a verb in this case blow. Americanism, technically grammatically wrong.

Wow, that almost made you sound clever. If you'd actually said anything.

...which I had, and if you can be bothered to look it up, you'll see that I'm correct.


man, I enjoy being insulted by people that have the social life of a naked mole rat in soliatry confinement.

....insultation doesnt really have much to do with a persons social life...

It kinda does. I think if you have a decent life then you don't have to waste your time arguing over the internet and coming up with pointless witty comebacks.

so then what are YOU doing?

At the mo my social life has deceeded, it was once fertile and great in year 9, and most of this year, but I have taken a break as a result of me being over keen on some people and starting to dislike others.

so in other words

ur a dick